Pete and Repeat

were on a boat, Pete fell off - who was left? Repeat. Ha Ha, funny old time joke huh? Well the point of it is that you get the person to keep saying Repeat and you, you guessed it - "repeat" the joke over and over until they get the point of the joke. Not very funny when you think about it and realize how stupid the joke really is - but it makes you chuckle even if you get caught in it. Little things like that are amusing when you are kids, not so much when you are an adult. I miss that, being a kid with no responsibilities. I enjoy being an adult and having a life of my own though, so growing up isn't so bad after all. You have lots of experiences and hopefully start a family of your own to live vicariously through your own kids to have a second childhood in your 40's and so on. That is what being a father is, raising your kids to be productive members of society and one day bring you grandchildren that will continue the cycle over and over again - kinda like the joke...funny how similar it is.
The only thing that sucks is if you get stuck somewhere in the middle and never make it out. That is what scares me more than anything. I don't want to be stuck in the "joke" of life, and not make it out. For the last 2 years, things have been tight and stressful. I have started to see the end of the tunnel and hope that I am on the right track now. Two months into my new position and things are going well, but as always, they could be better. I am happy where I am, I just want what I deserve, peace of mind. I can't stand living with the financial stresses anymore. I am 30 years old and have nothing saved for later, I can't even manage to keep our bills paid. Things are much better already than they were three months ago, but there some things that haven't improved yet and MUST soon. Health insurance is priority #1, and that is like ice skating in hell apparently. The insurance company is supposed to talk to the doctor to find out how my checkup was and they tell me that it isn't their responsibility! The nerve of the people to tell me that their job is my job? How the heck are you going to gather information about my insurability and not call my doctor or get my medical record? Just because you're too freaking busy? Give me a break. My wife is hurting every day, it seems like it gets worse or just changes location every day, and we can't find out what's causing this without fear of going into debt beyond thought. This time getting health insurance is being delayed because of me and its causing her increased stress and anxiety which makes me feel even worse than I already do. All I want to do is get into a doctor and have them do an MRI to see what's going on and how to fix it. That is no way to be living life, one racked with guilt and stress for not being able to provide and take care of his wife and the other in pain that makes it hard to do anything.
I keep thinking that what is in store for us with this supposed National Health care is going to be bad, but maybe, just maybe it will work out for the best. Someone has to get on these private insurance companies and hold them in check.

All I want is to live a life of comfort, not necessarily excess. I don't need mansions and Lamborghini's. Just a nice house and a nice life where things aren't so difficult to maintain. Bills are paid, saving for the future, and having a family. Basically, getting out of the joke onto the other side, understanding what it took to get you there and appreciating it. That's the one pet peeve I have about today's upper class - they don't appreciate what they have and waste it. They don't realize how lucky they are to have what they have and not think that they are better than us just because their bank account has a lot more 0's in it. I will be there, and hopefully sooner than later and I will damn sure appreciate it because of where I have been and I will have gotten out determined never to be back here again.